Showing posts with label Denial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Denial. Show all posts
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
4/1 at last...
It's been a while coming, but Mistress R has now had 4 orgasms for every one of mine since the 1st April, and it's only going to get less fair I'm sure...
Why? Well, if we look at the stats in closer detail we find that in April I was permitted 4 orgasms, in May 2, and June's looking likely to be 1 or perhaps 2 if Mistress R is feeling particularly generous (although from the look in her eyes earlier when she said 'no, you're not cumming yet', I very much doubt it!).
I don't have a record of when all of Mistress R's orgasms have taken place, but I do know that Mistress R has had approximately 2 a week for the last twelve weeks. So using that to formulate a rough guide, we can see that in April Mistress R had 9 orgasms to my 4, in May she had 9 orgasms to my 2, and in June so far she's had 6 to my 0.
Looking at it like that, 4/1 seems rather generous, doesn't it?
Of course this is all somewhat meaningless, because Mistress R can change her mind whenever she wants. So if she wanted to, she could make me cum twice tonight, twice tomorrow night, and twice every night for the rest of the week... but I very much doubt it. I think she's starting to enjoy it far too much to do that!
Mmmm, life is good... and it's only going to get better, because tomorrow night is my first night with Mistress R as my personal trainer and not only will I get to watch her exercising in tight clothing (yum!), but I will also be taking the first step to a new, slimmer, fitter, hornier me. I've seen enough of so-called 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith's programmes to know that when you lose weight your sex drive improves (that's why she's always force feeding porkers like me Pumpkin seeds), and I'm certainly looking forward to that, even though I know it's only really going to make things harder for me... (bring it on!)
Plus I'm reliably informed that when your body looks smaller it makes your cock look bigger, and I'm all for that! I mean I've already done the pube trimming thing, I'm running out of tricks (hahaha). And of course the slimmer I get, and the bigger my cock looks, the more likely Mistress R is to want to tease me every single night until I'm a gibbering wreck (at least that's what I'm telling myself).
Well, probably not, but hey, at least I've got some new Nike shorts to make myself feel good!
Why? Well, if we look at the stats in closer detail we find that in April I was permitted 4 orgasms, in May 2, and June's looking likely to be 1 or perhaps 2 if Mistress R is feeling particularly generous (although from the look in her eyes earlier when she said 'no, you're not cumming yet', I very much doubt it!).
I don't have a record of when all of Mistress R's orgasms have taken place, but I do know that Mistress R has had approximately 2 a week for the last twelve weeks. So using that to formulate a rough guide, we can see that in April Mistress R had 9 orgasms to my 4, in May she had 9 orgasms to my 2, and in June so far she's had 6 to my 0.
Looking at it like that, 4/1 seems rather generous, doesn't it?
Of course this is all somewhat meaningless, because Mistress R can change her mind whenever she wants. So if she wanted to, she could make me cum twice tonight, twice tomorrow night, and twice every night for the rest of the week... but I very much doubt it. I think she's starting to enjoy it far too much to do that!
Mmmm, life is good... and it's only going to get better, because tomorrow night is my first night with Mistress R as my personal trainer and not only will I get to watch her exercising in tight clothing (yum!), but I will also be taking the first step to a new, slimmer, fitter, hornier me. I've seen enough of so-called 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith's programmes to know that when you lose weight your sex drive improves (that's why she's always force feeding porkers like me Pumpkin seeds), and I'm certainly looking forward to that, even though I know it's only really going to make things harder for me... (bring it on!)
Plus I'm reliably informed that when your body looks smaller it makes your cock look bigger, and I'm all for that! I mean I've already done the pube trimming thing, I'm running out of tricks (hahaha). And of course the slimmer I get, and the bigger my cock looks, the more likely Mistress R is to want to tease me every single night until I'm a gibbering wreck (at least that's what I'm telling myself).
Well, probably not, but hey, at least I've got some new Nike shorts to make myself feel good!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Something I've noticed...
Just lately I've noticed something quite amazing. Like I said yesterday Mistress R now seems quite confident in her new role and when she decides to stop teasing me, she no longer hesitates. But more than that, I don't think Mistress is finding it as hard to deny me as she perhaps was at the start. I hope this is true because one day I truly hope that she will lock me up properly and make me wait a very long time to cum, and she'll never do that if she feels uncomfortable about denying me. She also seems to be softening a bit to the idea of the CB-3000, so maybe my dream will come true sooner than I think...
Friday, June 10, 2011
Mmm, so lucky am I...
It goes without saying that I love being teased. I love to feel Mistress stroking me at whatever pace she pleases, all the while knowing that I am never allowed to cum unless she gives me her express permission, knowing that longed for permission could come at any time, and could just as easily be withdrawn if Mistress thought I was taking too long. I love the frustration of wanting to be stroked harder and faster when she only wants to stroke softly and slowly. I love the sensation of her nails digging in to my aching flesh. I love being inside her and having to keep myself under control. I love it when she squeezes and scratches my balls, and I love it when she decides to stop and tells me ‘That‘s all for now,’ before kissing me deeply and deliberately ignoring my aching, throbbing cock.
In this moment, as I lay there, feeling her mouth pressed against mine and longing for just one more minute of stroking, or even just one more hard squeeze, I am inevitably torn between longing for her to heed my obvious need for more and being so happy and proud that she now feels confident enough to make her own decisions. No more the hesitant ending, nowadays Mistress R stops and tells me ‘no more’ and she means it (you may recall the other night I begged her to continue and I had to use one of my three chances to get her to do so… it was totally worth it though).
I love that she has come so far in such a short time and it makes me wonder where we might be in a few years time. Once she’s whipped my body into shape (possibly quite literally!) then where will she focus her attention? Who knows, maybe by the time I hit my mid-forties I might be locked up 24/7 and wondering when, or even if, I’m going to be allowed to cum again… after all it was only seven or eight months ago that Mistress R was completely against the idea of male chastity and now she’s more than happy to leave me hanging for weeks at a time! Mmmmmmmmm, so lucky am I…
Whatever happens, I’m sure Mistress R and I will still be happy, together and just as in love as we were nearly twenty years ago when we first met. I can’t help wondering what our relative orgasm counts will be though, Mistress could be close to a thousand while I might not even have reached one hundred.
Fuck… I really hope so!
In this moment, as I lay there, feeling her mouth pressed against mine and longing for just one more minute of stroking, or even just one more hard squeeze, I am inevitably torn between longing for her to heed my obvious need for more and being so happy and proud that she now feels confident enough to make her own decisions. No more the hesitant ending, nowadays Mistress R stops and tells me ‘no more’ and she means it (you may recall the other night I begged her to continue and I had to use one of my three chances to get her to do so… it was totally worth it though).
I love that she has come so far in such a short time and it makes me wonder where we might be in a few years time. Once she’s whipped my body into shape (possibly quite literally!) then where will she focus her attention? Who knows, maybe by the time I hit my mid-forties I might be locked up 24/7 and wondering when, or even if, I’m going to be allowed to cum again… after all it was only seven or eight months ago that Mistress R was completely against the idea of male chastity and now she’s more than happy to leave me hanging for weeks at a time! Mmmmmmmmm, so lucky am I…
Whatever happens, I’m sure Mistress R and I will still be happy, together and just as in love as we were nearly twenty years ago when we first met. I can’t help wondering what our relative orgasm counts will be though, Mistress could be close to a thousand while I might not even have reached one hundred.
Fuck… I really hope so!
Late last night...
Mistress R came to bed very late last night (she’s already on holiday whereas I have to work the rest of today before my week off starts). I was still awake and Mistress soon had me rock hard and aching as she pumped my cock hard and fast, I didn’t get too close to coming, but I was definitely having to pay attention all the same. It was wonderful to be stroked like that instead of the more usual slower and gentler strokes…
Needless to say I woke up with a cock like a telegraph pole this morning, even though I had a pretty crap night’s sleep, but it wasn’t until I got into my car to come to work that it occurred to me that I could have asked Mistress R if I could touch it (seeing as I’ve still got two of my three chances left). But then again, last night when Mistress R let go of my cock and told me that it was over, she did tell me in no uncertain terms that I was not to touch it again before the weekend.
I don’t seem to have got the hang of this ‘three chances’ thing, I always seem to end up touching when I’m not supposed to, then having to admit it and take my punishment and then being allowed to cum before I’ve used them up. Despite the fact that Mistress R said that if I use all three that I can still ask, but that she might not let me. The thing is of course that it’s three chances between orgasms and so I never know when to use them, albeit so far this month seems to be following pretty much the same pattern as last month (femdom session - one week - three weeks)… It will certainly be interesting to see if Mistress allows me to cum next Friday or not, as she certainly seems to be getting used to the idea of leaving me hanging and I guess denying me in our monthly Femdom session is the next big step for her.
Needless to say I woke up with a cock like a telegraph pole this morning, even though I had a pretty crap night’s sleep, but it wasn’t until I got into my car to come to work that it occurred to me that I could have asked Mistress R if I could touch it (seeing as I’ve still got two of my three chances left). But then again, last night when Mistress R let go of my cock and told me that it was over, she did tell me in no uncertain terms that I was not to touch it again before the weekend.
I don’t seem to have got the hang of this ‘three chances’ thing, I always seem to end up touching when I’m not supposed to, then having to admit it and take my punishment and then being allowed to cum before I’ve used them up. Despite the fact that Mistress R said that if I use all three that I can still ask, but that she might not let me. The thing is of course that it’s three chances between orgasms and so I never know when to use them, albeit so far this month seems to be following pretty much the same pattern as last month (femdom session - one week - three weeks)… It will certainly be interesting to see if Mistress allows me to cum next Friday or not, as she certainly seems to be getting used to the idea of leaving me hanging and I guess denying me in our monthly Femdom session is the next big step for her.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Some observations after the first nine weeks...
Well, it's been just over two months since Mistress R took full time control of my cock and orgasms, and what a wonderful two months it's been! Mistress R has enjoyed a total of 20 orgasms during that time (that's 2.3 per week, or one every three days), whereas I have had just 6 (that’s 0.67 per week, or about one every 10 days). Which in Mistress R’s case is probably more than expected and less than I’d hoped, and in my case less than expected but more than I’d hoped… so all in all we’re doing pretty well so far!
Besides, I can’t help thinking that my average over those two months might be higher than it will prove to be over the coming months. Because four of my six came in April, and I’d wager that since Mistress R has got used to the idea of limiting my releases, May’s total might be more representative of my future quota. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll have a month completely devoid of any release… or she might just decide to give me more orgasms in one night than I’ve had in the last month! I just don’t know, and as ever it’s all up to my beautiful Mistress R (just as it should be).
Of course, the orgasm stats are only half the story and the idea of me not being allowed to touch my cock has been rather less successful. I would say on average I’ve failed two or three times a week (at least) in this regard (though again I stress I haven’t cum by my own hand since April 1st), sometimes this means just giving it a squeeze to assuage an early morning ache, sometimes it means several edges in a row… I’d love this not to be the case, but whereas I’ve found getting used to not coming relatively easy, the exact opposite is true when it comes to keeping my hands off my cock. Of course the fact that I’m not coming as often is making it harder, or so you would think, but even on the days directly after a permitted orgasm I’m still finding it almost impossible to resist…
So what’s the answer? Well, as Mistress R is not overly keen on the idea of the CB-3000, I can only hope she finds a suitable deterrent or makes my current punishment a bit harder to take. Of course the ultimate punishment would be to deny my tongue access to her beautiful pussy, but that would rather be cutting off her nose to spite her face wouldn’t it? The annoying thing is that I would dearly love to be able to abide by Mistress R’s rules, as I know that when I do manage to keep my hands off the eventual teasing by Mistress R’s is even more intense and gloriously (un)satisfying. And therein lies the reasoning behind my own desire to be ‘locked’. Ten minutes in that thing was enough to make me realise why so many men are willing to put up with the hassle and inconvenience of a chastity belt, as you cannot compare the feeling of loss of control with simply being instructed to keep your hands off. That said, I’m still scared shitless of the thing, in the same way that someone might be scared of a roller coaster (not a very good example as I hate roller coasters, but you know what I mean!)… but it’s a moot point as Mistress R isn’t keen and anyway I’m still not convinced I would actually enjoy wearing it for more than short periods…
Leaving that aside, this past two months has been something of a revelation, as I think we have felt closer than we have for a long time (and we have always been a very close couple anyway), we kiss and touch constantly, we both seem more at ease sexually and Mistress R is gradually coming to terms with the idea that she should take all the pleasure she wants from me whenever she wants it.
For my part I certainly have no regrets whatsoever, I’m sure I’ve spent more time this past two months pleasuring Mistress R than I have for any similar period in the last decade, and from what I’ve seen of late her orgasms have become stronger and more satisfying than ever before (only my impression, she may disagree). I adore being teased by her, having her stroking my cock however she likes until she leaves me rock hard and throbbing, and being inside her but knowing I’m not allowed to cum is a feeling I can’t even begin to describe… it makes me feel a little dizzy just thinking about it.
Although I was a little surprised when Mistress R decided that not only would I not be allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, but that I also wouldn’t be allowed to ask to be allowed inside her, I think it has worked out really well. Because now when she decides it is time I know she really wants me inside her and that makes it so much more enjoyable for me and special for the pair of us. I also love that Mistress R has overcome her reservations about making me lick her clean when she does permit me to cum inside her, because that is a wonderful experience and something I am always waiting for…
It will certainly be interesting to see what transpires in the coming months as Mistress R becomes more and more comfortable in her new role. Maybe she will decide to go all out and push for the fifty days of chastity she threatened me with before, or perhaps she might announce that in future I will have to eat my cum every time I am allowed to orgasm and then make me cum seven days in a row? Oh such sweet cruelty, I can’t help but look forward to whatever Mistress R plans for me. She truly is a Goddess in my eyes.
Besides, I can’t help thinking that my average over those two months might be higher than it will prove to be over the coming months. Because four of my six came in April, and I’d wager that since Mistress R has got used to the idea of limiting my releases, May’s total might be more representative of my future quota. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll have a month completely devoid of any release… or she might just decide to give me more orgasms in one night than I’ve had in the last month! I just don’t know, and as ever it’s all up to my beautiful Mistress R (just as it should be).
Of course, the orgasm stats are only half the story and the idea of me not being allowed to touch my cock has been rather less successful. I would say on average I’ve failed two or three times a week (at least) in this regard (though again I stress I haven’t cum by my own hand since April 1st), sometimes this means just giving it a squeeze to assuage an early morning ache, sometimes it means several edges in a row… I’d love this not to be the case, but whereas I’ve found getting used to not coming relatively easy, the exact opposite is true when it comes to keeping my hands off my cock. Of course the fact that I’m not coming as often is making it harder, or so you would think, but even on the days directly after a permitted orgasm I’m still finding it almost impossible to resist…
So what’s the answer? Well, as Mistress R is not overly keen on the idea of the CB-3000, I can only hope she finds a suitable deterrent or makes my current punishment a bit harder to take. Of course the ultimate punishment would be to deny my tongue access to her beautiful pussy, but that would rather be cutting off her nose to spite her face wouldn’t it? The annoying thing is that I would dearly love to be able to abide by Mistress R’s rules, as I know that when I do manage to keep my hands off the eventual teasing by Mistress R’s is even more intense and gloriously (un)satisfying. And therein lies the reasoning behind my own desire to be ‘locked’. Ten minutes in that thing was enough to make me realise why so many men are willing to put up with the hassle and inconvenience of a chastity belt, as you cannot compare the feeling of loss of control with simply being instructed to keep your hands off. That said, I’m still scared shitless of the thing, in the same way that someone might be scared of a roller coaster (not a very good example as I hate roller coasters, but you know what I mean!)… but it’s a moot point as Mistress R isn’t keen and anyway I’m still not convinced I would actually enjoy wearing it for more than short periods…
Leaving that aside, this past two months has been something of a revelation, as I think we have felt closer than we have for a long time (and we have always been a very close couple anyway), we kiss and touch constantly, we both seem more at ease sexually and Mistress R is gradually coming to terms with the idea that she should take all the pleasure she wants from me whenever she wants it.
For my part I certainly have no regrets whatsoever, I’m sure I’ve spent more time this past two months pleasuring Mistress R than I have for any similar period in the last decade, and from what I’ve seen of late her orgasms have become stronger and more satisfying than ever before (only my impression, she may disagree). I adore being teased by her, having her stroking my cock however she likes until she leaves me rock hard and throbbing, and being inside her but knowing I’m not allowed to cum is a feeling I can’t even begin to describe… it makes me feel a little dizzy just thinking about it.
Although I was a little surprised when Mistress R decided that not only would I not be allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, but that I also wouldn’t be allowed to ask to be allowed inside her, I think it has worked out really well. Because now when she decides it is time I know she really wants me inside her and that makes it so much more enjoyable for me and special for the pair of us. I also love that Mistress R has overcome her reservations about making me lick her clean when she does permit me to cum inside her, because that is a wonderful experience and something I am always waiting for…
It will certainly be interesting to see what transpires in the coming months as Mistress R becomes more and more comfortable in her new role. Maybe she will decide to go all out and push for the fifty days of chastity she threatened me with before, or perhaps she might announce that in future I will have to eat my cum every time I am allowed to orgasm and then make me cum seven days in a row? Oh such sweet cruelty, I can’t help but look forward to whatever Mistress R plans for me. She truly is a Goddess in my eyes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)