BOOK REVIEW: The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus by Violet Blue...

Mistress R always asks why I read books like these, because she had no complaints. But that's hardly the point, is it? In the highly competitive world of pussy eating, if you're standing still, you're going backwards... or is that Formula One?
Anyway, seeing as cunnilingus is almost certainly my favourite thing in the world ever (even better than Hotel Chocolat Caramel Cheesecake Chocolates), it stands to reason that I like to be well read in that area, not least because I genuinely aspire to pussy eating greatness. If there was a world championship of cunnilingus, my dream would be to on the top step of that podium, and despite Mistress R's claims to the contrary, I'm sure I'm a long way from Olympic standard yet (watch out for those damned Eastern Europeans!).
So yes, I have read a few books on this topic... and the best one is still 'She Comes First'.
This one is okay though, and perhaps a bit easier to read. The tone is relaxed and the advice seems pretty sound. There's even some BDSM type tips for pain play, though I don't think Mistress R is going to be up for any pussy slapping or multiple peg zip-lines. In fact lets hope she doesn't ask me what a 'multiple peg zip-line' is, because I don't fancy it either!
So yeah, if you've never read a book on this subject, this is probably a pretty good bet really... but if you have, this probably won't be that useful.

Escort letters...

For some reason, I know not why, I have been sent a copy of Escort Letters magazine. I did not ask for this, but I do have subscriptions to both 'Desire presents BDSM' and 'Foreplay' magazine, and I am assuming that I have been sent this in error. At first I thought, oh well, letters are usually good and this has got nothing but letters in it. However, on closer inspection, it really is a load of old crap. There's probably a hundred or more letters in this magazine, but they take about 40 seconds to read. Seriously, who's wanking to these letters? Perhaps they should retitle the magazine 'Premature Ejaculator Monthly' or something? And the letters, such as they are, really could be written by chimps. Seriously, this is the level of letter writing we are talking about:

"When I was 18 I went to a disco with my boyfriend, he was really boring, I got pissed and met these three blokes. They took me out the back and they all fucked me one after another, in both holes. I was a virgin and I came four times. With each bloke. And they all had massive cocks. True story."

Seriously, that is about the size of it, over and over again. Does that turn you on at all, because that didn't cause so much as a tremor in my groin area, and I haven't cum for nearly three weeks!!! Jesus.